How I Earned the Title of Holistic Real Estate CoachAug 18, 2022
When I was 18, I moved from the country to the city with only a suitcase, a pillow and the promise of a $5.25 an hour job. With $190 in my pocket, my mom literally dropped me off on a busy corner in Downtown Denver, and I thankfully before nightfall, I found an unfurnished room to rent for $167 a month.
This was my initiation into adulthood.
Now…often when I share this story, people are generally shocked. But you have to know in that moment I felt nothing but freedom and determination. With no education, no parental support, no financial privileges, no stability and no security, I was going to find my way.
But as I shared in my previous blog, my father’s consistent message of my being “worthless and stupid” had a strong-hold on me. His words shaped my beliefs, which proved to be stronger than my resolve... and I soon fell back into my default beliefs of not feeling deserving, capable or worthy. At 19, I joined a church that reiterated my father’s message of my worthlessness. At age 20, I married and said yes to the life that I believed that I deserved – one of suppression, control and conformity. I felt depressed, suppressed, and powerless. I believed that my life was not my own.
I continued to struggle with low self-worth for the next two decades.
It wasn’t until age 35 that I finally set a course to find love for myself, from within myself. My spiritual quest that had started at age 18 was finally winding its way into awakening my very shut-down heart. I became immersed in my studies, exposing myself to every heart-opening personal development experience that I could find to help me “navigate my way back to me”. I would find myself constantly growing in consciousness and self-awareness. My most long-standing friend always referred to me as her Butterfly... as I was constantly busting out of a new cocoon into an even stronger, brighter woman as the years went by. It was exhilarating. It was exhausting. It was my path.
I experienced many significant life changes between ages 31 and 48 including leaving organized religion, two marriages and two divorces, single-motherhood, poverty, homelessness, failing businesses, the death of my mother, empty nesting, my father’s extreme illness, welcoming two beautiful grandchildren into the world, and falling in love again and marrying my best friend. Life was flowing and so was I, as I became a woman who learned to love herself and have compassion for herself and her life’s journey.
Everything made me stronger. But I was still growing in my confidence. I was not quite ready to take full responsibility for myself and claim the life I really wanted to live.
In 2019 I accepted what would become my final salaried position. As it turned out, the Universe had to deliver me into the most financially rewarding yet most emotionally grueling corporate position possible before I would finally look within for my answers, my strength and my stability. I was broken down and beat up by that job. The position was incredibly demanding and continually life-taking. My heart deeply longed for balance, freedom of expression and relief from the dysfunctional way I had to operate in order to survive each day. I knew I was an incredibly hard worker and a valuable member of the executive team, yet my deepest gifts and talents were simply not needed by this position. I rarely felt acknowledged, seen, heard, valuable or appreciated. And as odd as it may sound, for what felt to me like total rejection, I am eternally grateful. For out of this extreme experience of living outside of my own alignment came my surrender. I finally began waking up to my own value, worth and capability. I was finally ready to “give myself to myself” and stop giving myself away. I finally KNEW that I deserved the life I had been dreaming of for so many years.
I was finally seeing myself differently.
On a January morning in 2022, while I was still employed, I woke up to a thought that changed my life. “I am not meant to be kept a secret.” I wrote those words down on a sticky note and kept it in front of me every day. I was not even sure what do with this thought, and to be honest I felt a lot of resistance around it. After all, keeping so much of myself a secret was my mode of operation for YEARS. I immediately began to dream about and plan my exit strategy from corporate into my business. But just as the Universe always unfolds perfectly, the opportunity to step out of my high-level corporate position (and my comfort zone!) quickly followed… and a little faster than I expected.
Regardless, I was ready. Previous fears and feelings of unworthiness alchemized into courage and strength. It was time to realize my dream of being the entrepreneur I had always seen myself as. What outside of me shifted? Literally everything! But what had to shift FIRST was my inner-experience of myself. I had always possessed the tools I needed to be independently successful. But it was not until I saw myself differently that I was able to commit to my business with 100% of who I was.
Once my beliefs about myself changed, everything else changed, too. Opportunities immediately began to “find me”. It was as if the universe was just waiting for me to get aligned with myself so it could shower an avalanche of blessings and support upon me. Inspired Action immediately followed my YES to my business, and I was able to take consistent, massive and immediate action. Nearly every action I needed to take felt aligned and easy. Just like breathing.
This is FLOW. This is where all the magic happens.
Do you realize how powerful you are? Do you know that you literally have the power within you to turn anything around... as soon as you can see the role that you play by holding it in place? As soon as you are willing to see and let go of your limiting beliefs? Do you know that YOU are the procuring cause of every effect in your life based on how you see it, and how you see yourself in relationship to it?
I certainly do. And I can help you see it , too.
Share some thoughts with me via email ([email protected]) about where you are on the path of ALLOWING life to work for you instead of against you.